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Vol. 1, Issue 4 The News Organ of Liberty City Tuesday May 1st, 2001
" Masticating The Truth In Four Honest Stomachs "
 
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Liberty Tree - Promoting Family Values for Over 50 Years

Mackerel Factory to Expand
Liberty Tree News Bureau
May 1st 2001 3:14pm EST
LIBERTY CITY (RS) - Kristen Burns

Cheung Industries of Shanghai announced that they were to expand the factory production of mackerel in the Liberty City area. Cheung Industries is well known for the creation of what has been derisorily called "artificial" Mackerel, a tasty, fishy meal made from the bones and skeletons of any animal matter. The factory will bring thousands of jobs to Liberty City, and make it a world leader in artificial fish.

Protestors claim that Cheung's technology causes untold environmental damage and creates a supposedly healthy fish that contains as much saturated fat as butter and smells like a three-week-old kipper, but a spokesman for Cheung commented "Our mackerel is the finest in the world. From Shanghai to Liberty City, we will create a fish that tastes better than the real thing. We paid a lot of money to continue our business practices in Liberty City, and believe people who believe in this city should eat Cheung Mackerel as a way of supporting the city.

Sure it isn't technically a 'real' fish, but what's real anyway, these days? Are you telling me a mouse with an ear on it's back is real? But science has made one. What about a dog that walks on two legs and talks in Hungarian? I've seen one, and it is going to revolutionize child care in this country." Mayor O'Donovan commented, "Cheung industries have put the fish back in fishy. Their mackerel is the finest I've ever eaten and I am glad they see Liberty City as the place to conduct genetic experimentation and create foods of the future."

The factory is due to finish its expansion next month.

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